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Why does it seem like no matter how strong your argument, some programmers never agree with you?

In software development we often focus on practices like agile development, unit testing, or code reviews.

But these are actually driven by underlying principles that guide the practices we select.

Some good communicators will be able to say what their principles are.

But even then, you’ll come across someone who just will not agree with you no matter how well you understand their principles. This is because there is usually a core limiting belief that lies beneath their stated principles.

The only way to find these beliefs out, is to have an authentic relationship with the person.

As a software developer, engineer, or consultant we often spend most of our day in front of the computer.

So getting to know someone personally can be socially awkward and feel like it’s taking away from our productivity.

We can ask “why” questions, as described in the “5 whys” concept popularized by Eric Ries, author of the lean startup, to get to root beliefs.

Armed with this information, we can broaden our belief system to understand the other person better, or help them get rid of a limiting belief that may be holding them back!